I just went for my friend's father's wake today and this trip had somewhat reminded me of my uncle's death back in Jan 2002.. The devastation is beyond words and up to this very day, the guilt never quite go away..
It's not the first time that we know of how vulnerable we are and it's more than just being susceptible to diseases physically. It's not the first time that we know of how uncertain life can be, and that you never know what's going to happen next. Because of this we try our best to live life to the fullest, whatever and however that can be interpreted as.
But how many of us still have that in our minds? We are always caught up in the mad rush, always in a hurry, always busy, always have no time for many many things.. That just sound so much like me! Most of the time I just go with the flow.
Or maybe while trying to numb myself I choose to ignore the wonders of life and instead, try to get pass everything, everyone..
That's exactly why I felt guilty after my uncle's death. Because I never took the effort to want to keep in touch, I always throw silly tantrums and he's always very patient with me. I am never quite a good niece.
Yes I regret not learning to speak Hakka. I regret not spending enough time visiting my relations in Malaysia. I regret being such a cocky brat. I regret.
Going to bed.. with a heavy heart..
