That daddy and mummy are so not talking to each other anymore? That the family is slowly falling apart? That the house is in constant mess and it reflects how everyone feels? That someone needs to do something about it while something can still be done?
Does anyone cares?
Or maybe I can be like her and dismiss the issue as being hopeless? Or maybe I can be like her who can detach herself from the situation and indulge in the pursuit of her own happiness? Or maybe in actual fact no one actually cares and I'm just stressing myself too much?
Or maybe no one cares that it's all falling apart.
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While everyone was asleep, I mopped the entire house, cleaned the kitchen/fridge/sink/stove/toilet. I felt so much better after that. It had been a highly effective theraphy. My way of detaching myself from reality - at least temporarily.
At least the house is clean[er], maybe dad will feel a bit better then maybe he'll talk to mummy. Or perhaps mummy would feel guilty and start to do her part and then they might just end up talking to each other again.
Its time they realised that its but a chicken and egg question - he's not talking to her because he feels that she has not fulfilled her role in the family (as a mother, a wife and a housewife) - she's not talking to her because she feels unappreciated and taken for granted.
He blames her for dajie's doings and she blames him for blaming her.
Then why can't dajie come clarify again and work with me to bring them back together?
Does her personal happiness mean so much to her? Even if she had been able to enjoy it on the expense of others?
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I have nothing against your relationship, seriously. I trust you to make the right decisions about your own life. You are my closest sister, friend, soul mate. Of course I want the best for you. To me you only deserve the best. But I just feel that you shouldn't detach yourself, you should try to help. Why ain't you helping? It would mean so much.
I was previously unhappy because I felt violated, I felt that there had been a breach of trust. I am willing to compromise, but not to the extent of asking for permission to come home just so that HE can stay over at our place. Afterall, its MY home too? And I have the right to come back as and when I liked?
And I foresee that the situation would get worse once he gets into army, because then he can only book out on weekends and since i'm only home on weekends, I might be banished from my room. Does this make sense? You can ask the favour from me. But not impose your ideals (of spending every single second you breathe with him) on me. And I seriously can't stand sleeping in the same room with your and ur bf. Imagine if I ask you to do the same. And its not like I have known him all my life. Do you even understand?
And in the first place, the very act of bring him home had caused so much animosity between mum and dad. They would fight, but now they don't even fight anymore. I don't know which is better.
But my insistence, had more than often caused intense fricition. Or sometimes you don't come home at all during weekends. Makes me wonder if I should just sacrifice and shut my mouth and stay away from home. At least mum and dad would have you. Then they wouldn't keep asking me your whereabouts.
Do you even understand my agony?
Why can't you see the complexity of the issue?
Why can you only see your own happiness ahead? Its not even about pleasing anyone. Its about sparing a thought for your family members.
What if mum and dad divorce? What if mum falls sick and there's no money? Wait for money to drop from the sky? You would be married with many kids by then. Do you think you have the means to support mummy financially? What about little elaine? Do you even think about the future at all? Do you care about the family at all?
I don't give a damn to whatever others say because they do not know that you are a great sister. And I do. But because I know how much you love me, that's why I cannot understand your rationale for your actions.
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I'm hurt and I'm very tired.
I don't know how long I can last.
Does anyone cares?
