Reading my previous post brought tears to my eyes.
What a difference 12 days made.
Popo died on Wednesday 14 April at 0741am. She went for the ops on Mon 12 April but she didn't make it through the recovery in ICU.
If I had known that her time was up anyway, I would not have agreed to put her through the ops and let her suffer like that.
I am very saddened by her sudden departure.
The memory of her smiling at me on that morning of the ops is still fresh in my head. It was 630am when I got to the hospital to accompany her before the ops. She got up early and even washed her hair (because she was concerned that the nurses wouldn't help her shampoo her hair in ICU). She felt a bit cold from the shower and was dressed in her blue knitted cardigan. She thought I skipped work again to visit her so she nagged at me to not worry about her and go back to work.
Those were the same words she uttered to me before the doors of the operation theatre closed. And it turned out that those were her very last words.
She couldn't talk after the ops because she needed the ventillator to aid her breathing. In fact the first time she responded, was 3pm the following day. I kept talking to her and she finally responded by blinking her eyes rhythmatically. By then the doctors were concerned about her kidney failure and that she took so long to regain conscious.
At this point I can't go on to recap the last 15 hours of Popo's life. It's too heartbreaking.
We were all with her until her heartbeat stopped and came to a zero.
The next few days passed quickly and even now, I feel as if I'm on auto-pilot mode. At some moments, this still feels like a nightmare that I can't wait to wake up.
When the undertakers told us to take a last look at Popo, I wanted to tell her not to be scared. But those were the same words that I kept telling her before and after that ops. Not to be afraid because all of us are here with her. I was so scared myself, who am I to assure her that everything will be alright when I can't even guarantee that.
Popo was cremated in Mandai Crematorium on Sunday 18 April. She was 82 when she died. (I thought she was 84 because in her NRIC, her year of birth was 1926.)
Popo I will always love you and you will always be in my heart.
In the memory of..
Dear Popo (Mdm. Wong Kam Eng, Dragon Lady)
1928 - 2010
